Tag Archives: sonic heroes

Egregious Things Part 3

Come on over for another list of things worthy of hate and disappointment.  Yes, the duck decided to do another one of these things.  It’s…egregious things…cubed!

            I don’t like when names of stores or whatever use ‘n’ in place of and.  It just bugs me.  Put an’ if you’re going to be goofy, but not ‘n’.  No one says ‘n’.  It’s not natural.  They’d say and or an’.  It’s not even that easy to say ‘n’.  Which is easier to say: Ducks an’ Geese or Ducks ‘n’ Geese?  Normal sentient beings do not say ‘n’!  I don’t like ‘n’!  That’s a big N for NO!  I have also always hated the phrases “for him”, “for her”, or “his and hers”.  They’re just creepy.  I can’t explain how.  It’s like they’re implying they know the person you’re giving something to or whatever, and a simple “him” or “her” is sufficient.  I don’t know.  It’s just weird.

            I hated PE in school.  I don’t really need to get into detail since it is a deep disdain felt by nearly every living being in the galaxy, and possibly by some inanimate objects as well, but I will anyway.  I hated every bit of it.  For one thing, getting into your undies in front of your classmates.  Or anyone for that matter.  Why are a bunch of children expected to get nearly naked in front of each other?  What sick mind thought that up?

            And of course, I was the type to get picked last, though that’s not completely true.  The second to last person is picked last.  The last person isn’t picked at all.  So more accurately, I was never picked.  I’m sure a bunch of you know how that is.  And why are a bunch of children put in a situation where they get verbally abused by other children?  They took their darn volleyball so seriously.  I’m sorry I missed the ball, okay!  Maybe I’m just distracted by the fact that I’ll have to get naked in front of you guys yet again in about a half hour.

            And I have to throw in math class, of course.  And what the darn is a logarithm?  And try naming one instance where you need it.  Just one.  I dare you.

            Also, people in art class could be brutal.  So what, I didn’t draw nostrils just right.  Sue me.

            Another thing I absolutely hate is when video games are hard just because they’re not made right.  I have no problem with video games being hard.  I want something that challenges me.  I love when it actually takes effort to beat a boss.  When I have to spend quite a bit of thinking to solve a puzzle.  When I get quite lost in a dungeon, and then I finally figure out what to do next.  (I have “The Legend of Zelda” on my mind right now because this is a series that treats its players right.  That’s one of the many reasons I love it.  Thank you, “TLoZ”.  Try pronouncing that.)

            But, I can’t stand when a game is hard for stupid reasons.  When I was playing “Sonic Heroes”, I would die so many times, and it wasn’t even my fault.  I would press one button, and the character would go speeding off a ledge.  Or they would fall off things they never usually fell off of.  I hate when games are super persnickety, like “Okami”.  I love “Okami”, but sometimes you had to draw things just right.  I drew a circle a zillion times, and they just didn’t like it.  I don’t know what I did wrong.  It had to be just close enough to the object, I guess, but not too close.  And I also hate when game controls are absurd.  Rocket barrel levels of “Donkey Kong Country Returns”, yeah, I’m talking to you.  Those levels were bad enough to make you pull out your hair (or feathers) until you’re bald.  I die because I hold the button down a fraction of a second too long or not long enough.  What kind of a world do we live in when such things can happen to good people?  This should be a punishment in prison.

            And there’s another list of things I hate.  What kind of things do you hate?

The Duck Who Was a Loser in P.E. Because P.E. Stands For Pure Evil

Apparently They’re Heroes

I recently played and gave up on “Sonic Heroes”.  I beat the four stories but couldn’t get all the Chaos Emeralds.  Here’s a tip.  Get those emeralds while playing through the stories!  It’s no fun having to keep repeating areas to try and get these things later.

            Anyway, I’ve considered getting this game for a long time.  After years of consideration, I finally just got it.  I don’t know what took me so long.  At first, I didn’t like the game so much.  It seemed too hard, and you could die too easily.  I really hate when characters die when it’s not your fault or because you accidentally hit the wrong button.  Like with Sonic, I often pressed one button when I meant to jump, and he’d speed off and fall off the edge and die.  It made me quite annoyed.  But, as I started to learn the controls better and got more practice, the game became a lot easier and a lot more fun.

            In this game, there are four stories, each with a team of three characters that you switch between as you play.  (Team Rose is Amy, Cream, and Big.  Team Sonic is, of course, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles.  Team Chaotix is Espio, Charmy, and Vector.  Team Dark is Shadow, Rouge, and Omega.)

            In every team, one character is a speed character that can go fast and also do a tornado attack that can spin you up poles, flip over enemies, or make enemies lose their shields.  Sonic and Shadow can move fast along a line of rings, and all of them but Amy can triangle jump between two walls that are close together to cross gaps.  And Espio can turn invisible because he’s a chameleon.  A weird looking chameleon, but a chameleon nonetheless.

            The flying characters can, well, fly.  I didn’t realize you hold the button to fly and not just repeatedly press it until the fourth story.  Hmm.  Flying characters can also use thunder shoot to stun and hurt enemies, especially flying ones.  Yay.

            Power characters are strong and good at attacking and breaking metal crates and cages that contain keys.  They are awesome, and they don’t go off the edge as easily as speed characters.  Darn you, speed characters!  My favorite to use is Omega.  He has two machine guns in his arms, which is not at all weird because he’s a robot.

            My favorite team was Team Dark because they’re the coolest, but my favorite story is Team Chaotix because the missions often require you to find things, collect rings, or kill a certain number of enemies, rather than just reach the goal.  It was more interesting.  Team Rose was my least favorite.

            Another thing unique to this game is that in each level, each character can level up three times, which helps them defeat enemies easier, though you lose this when you die and when you start the next level.  It’s still neat, though.  Also, when the bar in the upper right fills up, your team can do an attack that kills all enemies in the area (except bosses).  Team Chaotix’s is the best because they get a lot of rings during this (and every 100 rings equals an extra life).

            Anyway, the game has 14 levels, which you go through with each of the 4 teams, with slight and sometimes less slight changes, yet it doesn’t get boring.  Each story gives you bits of the main story, but I still feel like a lot is missing.  I really wish I had been able to finish the game.  Mainly, Team Sonic and Team Dark are looking for Eggman, Team Chaotix is following the directions of a secret client, and Team Rose is looking for a frog and a chao who were kidnapped, I guess, but I have no idea why anyone would bother doing that.

            Some of the areas were positively dreadful.  Many say the last level, Final Fortress, was awful, but once I got used to it, it wasn’t too bad anymore.  What I hated most was the carts and the giant gator.  Sometimes you ride this cart thing and have to jump over obstacles, and every time you miss, you lose one character until all three are gone, and I’m awful at that, and the cart doesn’t always jump well.  And two stories had this giant gator, and you have to swing along these vines really fast to get away.  While it only took me one try during the second story that had it, it took me a zillion tries to beat it the first time.  Every time the vine reaches the highest part of its swing towards the next vine, you must jump.  If you wait, you will become a gator snack.  As you might imagine, it’s quite stressful.

            Also dreadful is the fact that I’m so bad at getting those Chaos Emeralds.  You have to get a key in a certain level and keep it until the end of the level.  You’ll lose it if you die or get hurt.  Then, you must chase the emerald through this big long area and get these colorful things to fill this bar so you can go faster while avoiding the bombs.  I only got three out of seven, I think.  I just can’t catch up to those darn things.

            Anyway, the music was all right in this game.  My favorite music in the levels was in the scary areas, especially Mystic Mansion.  My top favorite songs are the themes for Team Chaotix and Team Dark.  Didn’t like the other teams’ themes too much.

            Nothing particularly cute to mention, especially considering there were still no mini sheep.  What’s going on?  There were some chao, though.  They’re cute.  There was something that creeped me out, though, inMysticMansion.  Throughout the level, there is this skeleton that sometimes peeks out from behind things, and then it hides when you get close.  The first time you see it, it’s looking at you from behind this wall, but if you get close, it hides, and when you get to the other side of the wall, nothing’s there.  Leave me alone, you sneaky skeleton!

Team Duck