Tag Archives: sega

Drawing Rouge 10 Years Later

A few weeks ago, I drew a revised version of my OC, Gretchen the dragon lady, which I originally doodled way back in 2009.  Recently, I recreated another character that I first drew in 2009, Rouge the Bat from the Sonic the Hedgehog series.  (I was in the mood to draw her thanks to my ongoing playthrough of Sonic Adventure 2 over on Virtual Bastion’s Youtube channel….) Continue reading Drawing Rouge 10 Years Later

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Top Songs from Sonic Unleashed

The music of most “Sonic” games nowadays seems to consist mainly of rock and rap, something I am not particularly fond of, which is why it was a welcome break to play “Sonic Unleashed”, which has a largely different style of music, more like the traditional music of most games, which I prefer.  Due to this change in music style, “Sonic Unleashed” has my favorite “Sonic” music, and I have listed the top 10 here.

            10. “Chun-Nan: Dragon Road-Night” is a fast song that I think has an interesting sound to it, with a kind of flute-sounding instrument during a lot of it.  My favorite part is at 1:55.

            9. “Spagonia: Rooftop Run-Night” plays in the narrow alleys of some Rome-like town at night, and I think the song gives the place a mysterious, lonely feel.

            8. “Holoska: Cool Edge-Night” is a lovely song that fits well with this lovely location, a place of ice and snow with the ocean far below and the Aurora Borealis above.  My favorite part is around 1:13.

            7. “Adabat: Jungle Joyride-Night” plays in an island stage at night, and I find this song to be quite lovely, but it also makes me a bit sad.  I like the instrument used in much of it, which I think is a cello or something similar.  (This song makes me think of “Vexx” a little, especially the music that plays in the Below….)

            6. “Shamar: Arid Sands-Day” is a rather fast and fun song that plays in the desert stages during the daytime.

            5. “Chun-Nan: Hub-Night” plays in the town in Chun-Nan at night, and it is a slower song that I find to be lovely and soothing.  I especially like the part at 0:23.

            4. “Shamar: Hub-Day” plays in the desert town in Shamar during the day, and I find it to be a lot of fun to listen to.

            3. “Chun-Nan: Dragon Road-Day” is just a good song, but I’m not good at describing it.  I just like it.  And I like that drum you hear here and there.

            2. “Shamar: Arid Sands-Night” is awesome, and I’m not usually into jazzy music.  But, this particular song is just great.  Take a listen.

            1. “Eggman Land-Day” is, obviously, my favorite song, and I think it fits really well with Dr. Eggman’s weird amusement park, factory-ish place.  I think the song sounds rather sinister, and I especially like the beginning.  Why not listen, my dearies!

Eggduck Land

Sonic Unleashed, With Less Emphasis on the Sonic Part

After recently selling two positively unpleasant “Sonic” games, “Sonic and the Secret Rings” and “Sonic Colors” (the latter of which seems to be well-liked by everyone on the planet but me), and the fact that I am considering whether or not “Sonic Heroes” and “Shadow the Hedgehog” should be wished away into the cornfield, as well (“Twilight Zone” reference…), I started to wonder if I was losing the affection I used to have for “Sonic” games.  Strangely, after playing such bad “Sonic” games to ensure that they were indeed sell-forever worthy, I got in the mood to play “Sonic Unleashed” and was pleased to find that I still found this game quite delightful to play.

            This game once again has Eggman causing the world trouble, this time by breaking the planet apart in order to release a creature called Dark Gaia.  With the release of Dark Gaia, people begin to act strangely at night, and poor Sonic finds himself turning into a fluffy , but powerful werehog every night (with strangely elastic arms, which I suppose is useful, but also very goofy, making me cringe for a while until I got used to it).  The game involves Sonic traveling to different continents of the world trying to restore them, all with the aid of this strange little creature who can’t remember who he is, whom Sonic dubbed as Chip.

            So unlike other games of the series, this game involves two forms of gameplay, the regular gameplay we’re used to during the day, with Sonic showing off his mad hedgehog speed, and at night, you play as werehog Sonic, which is much more about platforming and beating up enemies.  These much more slow-paced levels seem out of place in a “Sonic” game, which, in the past, always revolved around Sonic’s speed.  Sonic’s ability to run through these levels a hundred miles an hour is what sets these games apart from other platformers like “Mario” or “Kirby” (the former of which, for me, seems to revolve around Mario’s terribly slick shoes).  And so it seems a bit strange to split the game up between normal “Sonic”-style levels and slow-paced enemy-fighting-fests.  To top it off, there are hardly any day stages compared to night ones.  Most locations have one day stage and at least three night stages.

            As a result, some may say this game failed as a “Sonic” game, as most of the gameplay has nothing whatsoever to do with the Sonic we’re used to.  It would be like a “Mario” game where Mario gained extraordinary speed and sped through levels (possibly without his slick shoes, too).  I’m not entirely sure why Sonic Team decided to make this game barely like a “Sonic” game at all.

            And yet, at the same time, I enjoyed it.  It can barely be called a “Sonic” game.  In that area, it really did fail.  But, as a game, I think they still did a good job.  I really enjoyed the game.  I like the locations, based on various places throughout the world, like Rome, China, and of course, islands and deserts and ice places like any self-respecting platformer would have.  The music was a delight (I don’t like the rock and rap they keep having in “Sonic” games lately, and this one uses more traditional video game music).  And then there’s, of course, the gameplay.

            First off, the day stages are the most fun.  They are the fast-paced levels all “Sonic” fans love, and I find these to be some of the most fun “Sonic” levels I have ever played.  Anyone who’s played a “Sonic” game is familiar with such levels, so there’s not much else to say.  There’re just great, and they’re quite challenging, too, if you want an S score.

            What is different about this game are the night stages, and while they aren’t as good as the day ones (werehog Sonic is so slow compared to regular Sonic), I still had a good time with them, when they weren’t frustrating as heck.  These levels involve platforming, as I said, which is the best part of these areas, plus I like the locations.  All the while, you should also be on the lookout for secret items (which appear in the day stages, as well, but with the faster pace of those stages, you don’t really spend time looking for them so much, as you usually just happen to run through them before you really even registered they were there).  These items get you tips, music, videos, and my favorite, concept art.  These stages also make good use of the Wiimote (for the Wii-users like myself), and while I’m getting a little tired of the Wiimote, they manage to make the ways you move the controller more varied, which makes it less tedious, as it’s not simply shaking the Wiimote to attack, but moving it in a circular motion and swinging it and other such things.

            What I don’t like is how annoying these levels are.  And the fighting.  I hate the fighting.  Okay, sometimes the platforming could be frustrating.  Sometimes there are weird jumps that you fail, and these weird jumps make me mad.  But, the fighting is what makes the night stages drag on at times.  So many enemies.  Wave after wave sometimes.  And these dumb bees you gotta chase down because they’re so fast, and you are swinging the controllers around like a moron trying to hit them.  And those wizards prove to be pretty nimble, as well.  And then you repeatedly get stunned when these enemies off to the side decide to shoot electricity at you.  And don’t even get me started on those big enemies with the clubs.  Just, come on.  I mean, really.  Usually, I could handle the fighting, but sometimes it was just…  Yuck.

            But, really, it is a fun game.  Overall, it is.  I couldn’t help but be delighted by it, while at the same time baffled at their decision to have so few day stages in comparison to night.  Honestly, the night stages were likely a bad idea for a “Sonic” game, even if they were usually fun.  But, at least balance it out with regular stages.  Or better yet, have the emphasis on the day stages, not the night ones.  It is a “Sonic” game, after all, and the game should focus on, well, itself.  The night stages were just too much of a departure from what we expect for it to take the main focus of the game.  (The final world has one day stage and five night ones.  Five!)  I’m fine with some changes being made to the gameplay of these games, or at least, I’m fine with variety, if they decide to do some different things again in the future.  They just can’t forget that they are making a “Sonic” game.

Were-Duck

100 Theme Challenge No. 6: Break Away

Okay, today’s 100 theme challenge topic is Break Away.  What in the world is that supposed to even mean?  When I think of those two words, I think of, well, breaking something.  Or possibly being in the grips of a kidnapper and breaking out of their hands with your swift, ninja skills!  Which luckily has not happened to me, but that is strangely on my mind when I think of this topic.  But, neither of those are good topics.  I don’t break things, and as I said, I haven’t had to “break away” from a kidnapper.  Or a duck-napper, either.

            So what else can I write about then?  Break away also makes me think about change.  You know, I broke away from my old ways, kind of.  Okay, I’ve got one.  I was always a Nintendo fan growing up.  I played the Super Nintendo, the Nintendo 64, the GameCube.  And as it is in our nature to feel superior to others, I believed Nintendo made the best consoles and the best games.  I looked in scorn at Sega and PlayStation and XBox.  Pshaw, such consoles can never compete with the might of Nintendo!  (Just like how Pepsi is far superior to Coke.)

            And then one day, things all changed for me.  Gaming-wise.  Despite my previous contempt for other consoles, which I’m not sure why it was ever even there, I saw several commercials for PlayStation 2 games that caught my eye (“Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy” and “Kingdom Hearts”).  I finally decided to buy the console, and I was introduced to a whole new library of games that were more wonderful than I ever expected.  The PS2 had some really, very, really great stuff (such as, you know, “Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy” and “Kingdom Hearts”, my goodness, they were amazing), and many of the games on this console remain to be some of my most treasured games of all time.  I had started to see the truth.

            Nevertheless, I still had ill will towards the XBox (Look at me, I’m Microsoft, and I make console now!  Oh, and the name is simply the word “box” with an X in front of it!  Color me impressed!  Not!), until one day I decided to try it, too, and I found out how fun the “Halo” series was.  Finally, my long-held bias had melted away like the fat on your belly when you try a hardcore diet.  Actually, not like that in the slightest, but I realized something important that I think all gamers need to know.  No one console is superior to any other.  I mean, yeah, we have our favorites.  I absolutely love the PS2 and care for it above all my other consoles.  But, I see it now.  They’re all good.  They all have qualities superior to that of other consoles and flaws, as well, but in the end, they are all good.  XBox players are not better than those who love Nintendo, and fans of PlayStation are not superior to the Sega fans.  (I recently had been playing this Sega Genesis collection on the 360, and I am discovering that Sega had some fun games, too.)

            So it’s funny how things changed.  I was originally loyal to Nintendo and Nintendo only.  I still love their consoles, as I grew up with them, but I am also a big PlayStation person, too.  And XBox has some good games, as well.  I just love “Halo”.  I still like some consoles and developers more than others, but I no longer have that silly arrogance I had years ago.  I see what makes every series of consoles great, and I am no longer in that little Nintendo-only box that I spent so many years in.  And I love being free now, to enjoy a much larger variety of games than ever.  And that, dear readers, is my break away.

Duck Away

The Duck Finds That Phantasy Star IV is Just Right, Like Porridge of a Proper Temperature

Recently, I decided to go back into “Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection” on my XBox 360 to check out more of the games it has.  This single disk consists of over 40 games for the Sega Genesis, a console I’ve never had.  (I strangely have more games for the Genesis than the consoles I really do physically own.)  This is a rather overwhelming number, so I had yet to try out all of them.  I had saved “Phantasy Star II”, “III”, and “IV” (I still haven’t unlocked the first one) because, being RPG’s, I assumed they’d be rather long.  Finally, I decided to give them a try.

            I started with “PSII”, and I was immediately confused.  I had no idea what to do.  None.  And they made a hassle out of everything.  Go here to heal.  Go here to bring a character back to life.  Shouldn’t healing wounds and resurrection be located in one easy, convenient spot?  I found you can buy a weapon for a character, but they may not use it.  Stupid Nei was largely useless, as she never fought in battle.  So I bought her a dagger, and she wouldn’t take it.  So I wandered aimlessly around the world map, wondering what in the universe I was supposed to be doing, getting attacked by a bunch of giant bugs and frogs while the main character (Rolf, I think?) randomly attacked enemies with little input from me (you tell him to attack, but you don’t choose what to attack, and then he takes several turns attacking random enemies, while you watch and shake your head in disapproval).  And Nei.  Well, she stood there.  After being killed by a mosquito (and not even because of contracting West Nile virus) yet again as I continued my aimless search for apparently nothing whatsoever, I gave up and went to “PSIII”.

            This game looked a little nicer.  But, other than that, it was little different.  I still had no idea where to go.  I continued to wander the world, oh, a forlorn figure I was, getting beaten up by baby chickens of all things.  This time, my character didn’t even get a useless companion to follow him about, and the battle system was very confusing.  Now I didn’t even know how to select any options but attack.  Once again, I gave up.

            Then, I started “PSIV”.  I liked this.  Something was actually happening.  Right from the start.  People actually gave me clear indication of what I was supposed to do.  Both of my characters (nay, minutes later, I received a third member to my party) actually fought enemies.  Imagine that.  They actually attacked things instead of standing there!  And I had more control over them, too!  You’d choose a move for each character, they’d do what you said to the enemy you specified, then, you chose again.  Alas, a game that made sense!  To make things even better, my characters even walked much faster than the slowpokes in the previous games.  Watch them zoom about!  And now, as it should be, taking a nap not only healed wounds but brought the dead back to life!  All is right in the world again!

            I did not give up on this game.  No, I did not.  This one was a lot of fun.  I actually understood it.  There was even an actual story that I was aware of.  Look, I can even summarize it.  This game starts out with two hunters named Alys and Chaz who are investigating an issue at this academy.  They are joined by the scholar Hahn (who was a total weakling, but at least he put forth some effort into vanquishing enemies, unlike some people I know…), who helps them defeat the monsters in the academy’s basement.  They then head out to investigate more problems, and as our heroes travel the planet of Motavia, they find all manner of strange things going on, including earthquakes in one village and large areas of quicksand overtaking parts of the desert (I suppose sand in the desert is a problem).  And not only that, but an evil man named Zio has been causing problems, too, as he has done such things as destroying a whole village and turning everyone to stone in another.  As they journey to stop these problems, they meet many new characters, and they find their quest is bigger still.  Eventually, our characters even travel into space and take on a villain much worse than Zio, one that threatens the galaxy.

            The battle system in this game is fun.  It is turn-based, and you get to fight with up to five characters at once (rather than three like in “Final Fantasy”).  Everyone chooses from various actions, including attacking or using skills or techniques, and then they all do their thing.  And repeat.  As I said, the fighting in this game is a lot better than in the previous ones.  One problem, though, is all characters attack one after the other after you make decisions for each of them, and you don’t always know what order your characters will attack in, so it makes planning ahead a little difficult.  I often had one character heal someone that was dead before someone else brought that character back to life.  Well, that was a waste.

            Another thing that I don’t like in this game is the names of skills and such often make no sense.  It is quite hard to figure out what they do and fight as effectively because I just can’t remember what each one is for.  I get some of them.  Res is for restore.  Rever is revive.  Deban is to raise defense.  But, guess what sar is for.  Or saner.  Or githu.  Can’t, can you?  They should have either given you a description of what these moves do or make them sound more like what they do.  I was quite baffled.  Sar heals everyone on your party.  Would you have guessed that?  I can’t tell you what the others do.  Because I don’t know.

            But, those are small complaints and mainly the only problems I had with the game.  It was still very fun, and another thing about this game that is my cup of milk is that it has a lot of characters.  Characters change quite a bit throughout the game, and you never have more than five at once, and it’s fun getting to use such a variety of characters.  They each have different sets of moves and different weapons.  There are also android characters, which can’t be healed in the normal means, but they automatically restore health when you walk around or come back to life once a battle is over if they die.  Pretty swell.  And like I said, there were a lot of characters.  If I counted right, there are 11 in total, I believe (most of which wear capes, I noticed).  (“Final Fantasy” usually has about six characters.)  Of course, it can be annoying when you get used to a character, only to lose them.  Raja could restore a character’s magic, which was awesome, and I wasn’t able to find anyone else who could (perhaps they could, but the moves were too vague).  I was annoyed when he left my team.  Come back, strange green man with a dorky sense of humor!  Come baaaack!

            Anyway, there’s not tons more to say about the game.  It was just fun, and I enjoyed traveling around and fighting enemies and meeting lots of new characters.  It didn’t have the most complex story or characters in the world, but the story was interesting, and I did like most of the characters.  (Rika’s my favorite.)  It was also fun playing such an old RPG.  It is the oldest RPG I’ve ever played through, I believe, (unless “Illusion of Gaia” for the Super Nintendo counts, but I’m unsure).  I certainly liked it more than “Phantasy Star II” and “III”.  They may be fine games, but I didn’t get into them like I did with this one.  And this game made the “Genesis Collection” even more worth it.

Four Phantasy Ducks

Egregious Things Part 3

Come on over for another list of things worthy of hate and disappointment.  Yes, the duck decided to do another one of these things.  It’s…egregious things…cubed!

            I don’t like when names of stores or whatever use ‘n’ in place of and.  It just bugs me.  Put an’ if you’re going to be goofy, but not ‘n’.  No one says ‘n’.  It’s not natural.  They’d say and or an’.  It’s not even that easy to say ‘n’.  Which is easier to say: Ducks an’ Geese or Ducks ‘n’ Geese?  Normal sentient beings do not say ‘n’!  I don’t like ‘n’!  That’s a big N for NO!  I have also always hated the phrases “for him”, “for her”, or “his and hers”.  They’re just creepy.  I can’t explain how.  It’s like they’re implying they know the person you’re giving something to or whatever, and a simple “him” or “her” is sufficient.  I don’t know.  It’s just weird.

            I hated PE in school.  I don’t really need to get into detail since it is a deep disdain felt by nearly every living being in the galaxy, and possibly by some inanimate objects as well, but I will anyway.  I hated every bit of it.  For one thing, getting into your undies in front of your classmates.  Or anyone for that matter.  Why are a bunch of children expected to get nearly naked in front of each other?  What sick mind thought that up?

            And of course, I was the type to get picked last, though that’s not completely true.  The second to last person is picked last.  The last person isn’t picked at all.  So more accurately, I was never picked.  I’m sure a bunch of you know how that is.  And why are a bunch of children put in a situation where they get verbally abused by other children?  They took their darn volleyball so seriously.  I’m sorry I missed the ball, okay!  Maybe I’m just distracted by the fact that I’ll have to get naked in front of you guys yet again in about a half hour.

            And I have to throw in math class, of course.  And what the darn is a logarithm?  And try naming one instance where you need it.  Just one.  I dare you.

            Also, people in art class could be brutal.  So what, I didn’t draw nostrils just right.  Sue me.

            Another thing I absolutely hate is when video games are hard just because they’re not made right.  I have no problem with video games being hard.  I want something that challenges me.  I love when it actually takes effort to beat a boss.  When I have to spend quite a bit of thinking to solve a puzzle.  When I get quite lost in a dungeon, and then I finally figure out what to do next.  (I have “The Legend of Zelda” on my mind right now because this is a series that treats its players right.  That’s one of the many reasons I love it.  Thank you, “TLoZ”.  Try pronouncing that.)

            But, I can’t stand when a game is hard for stupid reasons.  When I was playing “Sonic Heroes”, I would die so many times, and it wasn’t even my fault.  I would press one button, and the character would go speeding off a ledge.  Or they would fall off things they never usually fell off of.  I hate when games are super persnickety, like “Okami”.  I love “Okami”, but sometimes you had to draw things just right.  I drew a circle a zillion times, and they just didn’t like it.  I don’t know what I did wrong.  It had to be just close enough to the object, I guess, but not too close.  And I also hate when game controls are absurd.  Rocket barrel levels of “Donkey Kong Country Returns”, yeah, I’m talking to you.  Those levels were bad enough to make you pull out your hair (or feathers) until you’re bald.  I die because I hold the button down a fraction of a second too long or not long enough.  What kind of a world do we live in when such things can happen to good people?  This should be a punishment in prison.

            And there’s another list of things I hate.  What kind of things do you hate?

The Duck Who Was a Loser in P.E. Because P.E. Stands For Pure Evil

Apparently They’re Heroes

I recently played and gave up on “Sonic Heroes”.  I beat the four stories but couldn’t get all the Chaos Emeralds.  Here’s a tip.  Get those emeralds while playing through the stories!  It’s no fun having to keep repeating areas to try and get these things later.

            Anyway, I’ve considered getting this game for a long time.  After years of consideration, I finally just got it.  I don’t know what took me so long.  At first, I didn’t like the game so much.  It seemed too hard, and you could die too easily.  I really hate when characters die when it’s not your fault or because you accidentally hit the wrong button.  Like with Sonic, I often pressed one button when I meant to jump, and he’d speed off and fall off the edge and die.  It made me quite annoyed.  But, as I started to learn the controls better and got more practice, the game became a lot easier and a lot more fun.

            In this game, there are four stories, each with a team of three characters that you switch between as you play.  (Team Rose is Amy, Cream, and Big.  Team Sonic is, of course, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles.  Team Chaotix is Espio, Charmy, and Vector.  Team Dark is Shadow, Rouge, and Omega.)

            In every team, one character is a speed character that can go fast and also do a tornado attack that can spin you up poles, flip over enemies, or make enemies lose their shields.  Sonic and Shadow can move fast along a line of rings, and all of them but Amy can triangle jump between two walls that are close together to cross gaps.  And Espio can turn invisible because he’s a chameleon.  A weird looking chameleon, but a chameleon nonetheless.

            The flying characters can, well, fly.  I didn’t realize you hold the button to fly and not just repeatedly press it until the fourth story.  Hmm.  Flying characters can also use thunder shoot to stun and hurt enemies, especially flying ones.  Yay.

            Power characters are strong and good at attacking and breaking metal crates and cages that contain keys.  They are awesome, and they don’t go off the edge as easily as speed characters.  Darn you, speed characters!  My favorite to use is Omega.  He has two machine guns in his arms, which is not at all weird because he’s a robot.

            My favorite team was Team Dark because they’re the coolest, but my favorite story is Team Chaotix because the missions often require you to find things, collect rings, or kill a certain number of enemies, rather than just reach the goal.  It was more interesting.  Team Rose was my least favorite.

            Another thing unique to this game is that in each level, each character can level up three times, which helps them defeat enemies easier, though you lose this when you die and when you start the next level.  It’s still neat, though.  Also, when the bar in the upper right fills up, your team can do an attack that kills all enemies in the area (except bosses).  Team Chaotix’s is the best because they get a lot of rings during this (and every 100 rings equals an extra life).

            Anyway, the game has 14 levels, which you go through with each of the 4 teams, with slight and sometimes less slight changes, yet it doesn’t get boring.  Each story gives you bits of the main story, but I still feel like a lot is missing.  I really wish I had been able to finish the game.  Mainly, Team Sonic and Team Dark are looking for Eggman, Team Chaotix is following the directions of a secret client, and Team Rose is looking for a frog and a chao who were kidnapped, I guess, but I have no idea why anyone would bother doing that.

            Some of the areas were positively dreadful.  Many say the last level, Final Fortress, was awful, but once I got used to it, it wasn’t too bad anymore.  What I hated most was the carts and the giant gator.  Sometimes you ride this cart thing and have to jump over obstacles, and every time you miss, you lose one character until all three are gone, and I’m awful at that, and the cart doesn’t always jump well.  And two stories had this giant gator, and you have to swing along these vines really fast to get away.  While it only took me one try during the second story that had it, it took me a zillion tries to beat it the first time.  Every time the vine reaches the highest part of its swing towards the next vine, you must jump.  If you wait, you will become a gator snack.  As you might imagine, it’s quite stressful.

            Also dreadful is the fact that I’m so bad at getting those Chaos Emeralds.  You have to get a key in a certain level and keep it until the end of the level.  You’ll lose it if you die or get hurt.  Then, you must chase the emerald through this big long area and get these colorful things to fill this bar so you can go faster while avoiding the bombs.  I only got three out of seven, I think.  I just can’t catch up to those darn things.

            Anyway, the music was all right in this game.  My favorite music in the levels was in the scary areas, especially Mystic Mansion.  My top favorite songs are the themes for Team Chaotix and Team Dark.  Didn’t like the other teams’ themes too much.

            Nothing particularly cute to mention, especially considering there were still no mini sheep.  What’s going on?  There were some chao, though.  They’re cute.  There was something that creeped me out, though, inMysticMansion.  Throughout the level, there is this skeleton that sometimes peeks out from behind things, and then it hides when you get close.  The first time you see it, it’s looking at you from behind this wall, but if you get close, it hides, and when you get to the other side of the wall, nothing’s there.  Leave me alone, you sneaky skeleton!

Team Duck

Now in Color

I recently beat a very short game, “Sonic Colors”.  It took 7 hours and 6 minutes (and I think 7 seconds).  But, if I hadn’t dilly dallied at times, it would have been even less.  So short.  Anyway, plot-wise, apparently Dr. Eggman built a huge amusement park in space that he says is to make up for all the cruddy things he did in the past.  Luckily, since our hero, Sonic, is not a total moron, he doesn’t fall for it.  Of course, Eggman is indeed up to something quite immoral, including imprisoning a race of aliens called Wisps.  Throughout the game, Sonic uses their color powers to do neat things, like climb up walls, fly, and drill through the ground, which really has no relation to the color, but we’re probably not supposed to question that.

            The game is fun, but kind of silly.  (And seriously, what is Eggman’s obsession with amusement parks?  They’ve been in at least 3 games now.)  But, my biggest complaint besides some very…not great dialogue was that it had one thing that could’ve maybe redeemed the less-than-great plot, and they just…didn’t do it.  I don’t like to spoil things, but it needs discussing.  If you don’t want anything spoiled, skip ahead.  I’ll mark the offending paragraphs clearly for you with traffic cones and police tape.  If I had some.  For now, please accept second best.

SPOILERS START HERE

            Okay, we’re in dangerous territory now.  If you don’t want spoilers, run towards the emergency exits now!  Run, darn you!  If not, you must suffer the consequences of being in such close proximity to this duck’s opinions.  Side effects may and will include brain cell loss and finding out what our large-‘stached villain, Dr. Eggman, is up to this time.

            So we find later on that Eggman created a mind control gun powered by the Wisp aliens.  He uses it on Tails, Sonic’s fox friend (who has somehow been a kid for the last 20 years, but let’s not get into that), but before long, it runs out of power.  All right.  This is not quite what fuels my rage and disappointment.  Even later, near the end, Eggman tries to use it again, on Earth this time, but it doesn’t work.  And that’s all you ever hear of it.  It didn’t even need to be in the game.  They should’ve done more.  Come on, at least have Eggman mind control Tails and force Sonic to fight his best buddy.  Honestly, Sonic Team.  That would have been great.  You guys missed out on a great chance.  It could have made the game so much better.  As King Arthur said to the Black Knight in “The Holy Grail”, “You make me sad.”

SPOILERS END HERE

            We’re safe again.  Now, face the horror that is more of my thoughts and opinions.  Next up, Wisps.  My favorite is the pink one because it allows Sonic to go up walls and along ceilings and kill enemies and break certain blocks.  Delightful.  I also like the nega ones (which I think is short for negative, which are purple, but are not labeled by their color, apparently).  These turn Sonic into some crazy creature that destroys everything in its path and grows larger as it goes.  Scary, but also delightful.  The laser one’s neat, too, because you bounce off of things a bunch really fast.  The blue I didn’t like because of the sound effect when you use it.  But, it can break certain blocks and change blue tokens into blue blocks and vice versa, either creating platforms or unblocking your path.  It’s just that darn sound effect that disturbs me.

            Cuteness-wise, no mini sheep.  The Wisps aren’t my type of cute.  Except the nega ones.  Besides that, I find Dr. Eggman’s saucy little robot, Orbot, quite a delight.  And adorable.  He was in “Sonic Unleashed” originally, and I’m glad they brought him back.  I hope he’s in future games, as well.  (Where, though, are the chao?)

            Now there is something that has confused me for quite a while.  It’s another bit of proof that I may not be completely sane or maybe I just have no life, but here goes a much-needed analysis.  Subject…Dr. Eggman.  For those of you who don’t know, and it’s probably best you don’t, this bizarrely proportioned man is Sonic’s enemy, the equivalent of Bowser to Mario.  He’s apparently a genius with an IQ of 300, and yet he is constantly defeated by Sonic, a fast blue hedgehog.  Does it make sense that a mere hedgehog can destroy an evil super genius’s machines with such ease?  Just because he can ram into Eggman’s robots and ships at high speeds doesn’t warrant them to blow to bits like that.  No matter how fast Sonic is running, I bet if I had a head-on collision with him in my car, he’d turn into a red and blue splat.  Or maybe not.  That hasn’t happened yet.  And sometimes, Eggman’s machines just don’t work without any interference from Sonic at all.  Some genius.

            And what also has bothered me to no end, keeping me up into the wee hours of the morning, the wee ones, is the fact that the Doctor is the only villain with no followers whatsoever.  Or at least, one of the only ones.  All he has are robots, some of which don’t even like him, either.  Why does he even build robots that dislike him and even insult him?  If I was an evil genius, my robots wouldn’t sass me like Orbot does.

            And why does he even call himself Eggman?  I thought that was originally something Sonic called him as an insult.  These questions may never be answered.  I may ponder them forever.  I should email the Sonic Team, but they’d probably be annoyed.

            And my last question, this time just addressing Sonic.  Why does he drown in water, but he can breathe in space?  Same goes for the other characters in the other games.  I am confused.  If anything, you’d think it would be the other way around.

            Last of all, I have to mention that I rather enjoyed Eggman’s comments that you could hear throughout many of the levels.  I couldn’t hear or understand all of them, but the ones I did catch were quite amusing.  Here’s just a few.

1. Please refrain from licking the rides.  That would be disgusting.  (SweetMountain)

2. In no way will roaming bands of robots break into your vehicle.  (Tropical Resort)

3. No one can hear you scream, except the person sitting next to you.  Please be courteous to others.  No one likes a screamer.  (Asteroid Coaster)

4. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle.  (I forgot part)  Keeping your hands and feet inside the vehicle will not keep you from getting hit by asteroids, but our lawyers tell us we have to say that anyway.  (Asteroid Coaster)

5. This ride is not for people under age 12 or over age 13.  It’s not safe for 13-year-olds, either.  (Carnival place, whatever it’s called)

6. Please make sure your safety harness is buckled securely.  Or at least really grip on to something.  (Asteroid Coaster)

That last one is my favorite.

An Average Speed Duck