I think too much. But, I don’t know if it’s in a good way. You see, I couldn’t solve a mystery if my life depended on it, but I do think of things few others would. Mainly, this shows up in video games. I come up with questions the creators never thought anyone would care about. They may not have even thought of these things in the first place. Why? Because they’re not important, and yet I ponder them anyway. So I made a list of some of the silly things I’ve thought of. Let’s see if any of you guys can solve these mysteries.
1. First of all, and this is one of the most bothersome. It is so mysterious that it competes with the question of why Yoda from Star Wars talks so weird. Well, maybe not, but here it is. Tell me now, who is the mother of Bowser’s kids? You know, from the Mario games. Who could it possibly be? They just throw in some Bowser spawn with no explanation, way back in Super Mario World, I think. What female turtle beast had those kids? Where is she now? Huh? It is so simple, and yet we will probably never know!
2. F-Zero, a racing game, appears to have some racetracks over cities. I’m pretty sure at least one does. How unsafe! If there is a crash, and there are, these vehicles that can go upwards of 400 km/h are going to come screaming towards the surface like tiny, but still horrifying meteors. Every time you go over the side in that game, do you think of all the carnage caused, lives that were lost, buildings destroyed, etc. by your recklessness? No. No, you probably don’t.
3. Now this one’s a bit more obscure, so I’ll explain. In Hunter: The Reckoning, there are certain people that can see the dead. Apparently, things look normal until someone witnesses a death, and then they can suddenly see the world for what it really is. Gasp, zombies walk among us, and we didn’t even know! But, how does that work? It makes sense from the hunters’ point of view, but what about those unable to see the horrors around them? Do they see seemingly ordinary people shuffling about, awkwardly trying to attack others with their normal-appearing, but actually rotten, zombie limbs? What about the gargoyles? Do they look like regular humans to most people? Do they not notice when these statues just go missing one day? It’s bugged me. It shouldn’t, but it does.
4. There’s also something in Final Fantasy XIII that I don’t understand. You should probably skip this if you don’t want spoilers (well, not big spoilers, but still). Anyway, for those of you who haven’t played, it’s probably very confusing, but I’ll keep it simple. Some powerful creatures called the Fal’Cie can make humans into L’Cie, who are forced to complete a Focus within a certain amount of time, or they’ll turn into a monster called a Cieth. I am made to believe that all humans died off on Pulse (a planet, I guess) quite a while back. Maybe I’m wrong. But, if not, I don’t understand something. All those unlucky Cieth, after being Cieth for a while, turn into Cieth Stones and are forever tormented with the thought that they failed their Focus. It seems they were charged with killing tough creatures throughout Pulse, which your characters can then go defeat. But, that brings me to my question. How are these creatures still alive and in the same location all this time? After all these years, you’d think the creatures would be dead, or at least, would have walked somewhere else. But, that’s just me.
5. Now, this one’s a spoiler for Jak II, so don’t read if you don’t want…spoilers. Anyway, this is something also very confusing, and it has to do with time travel. Yeah, that’s already confusing in itself, but there’s another issue I have. When Jak, the main character, was a child, he was sent back to the past to be kept safe. This is the time frame of the first game, during which the bad guys, Gol and Maia, set out to flood the world with Dark Eco (which is a very bad thing) and take over the world. But, since it was Jak that stopped them, wouldn’t they have taken over the world before it ever got to the time period where Jak was born in the first place? You would think that this would keep Jak from being born in the future, and thus prevent him from being sent to the past, where he defeats the two. Without Jak to stop them originally, they would have taken over already and Jak may never have been born and sent back to the stop them! How could this be?!
I’m also bothered by the minor fact that they say Diddy of Donkey Kong is a chimp, even though he’s not because chimps don’t have tails. At least, I don’t think so. Anyway…
I’m not crazy.
An Over-Analytical Duck