Who Will Win the Kingdom Hearts Sweepstakes?

I am a historically unlucky person.  This is not a complaint, per say, but a simple fact.  I regret that this is so, but alas, it is so very so.  I first became aware of the inexplicable animosity Lady Luck feels for me when I was a duckling, and I entered a simple elementary school-wide contest.  There were various baskets filled with goodies, and we simply needed to place our tickets on the baskets we wanted most, and the ensuing drawing would determine the winners.  Based on the number of baskets, there should have been dozens of winners, if I recall correctly.  The fact that I didn’t win anything was not the baffling part.  What was, mind you, was the strange fact that nearly every one of my friends was the proud winner of something.  Aargh, my much younger self had said.  No, I was not a pirate back then, but aargh was my unhappy response, nonetheless.

As upset as I was on that sad day back during my ducklinghood, the situation remains now an amusing conundrum more than anything.  Alas, I could be struck by lightning on a clear and cloudless day, if fate willed it!  In fact, I once fell down…probably one of the only times in my life that I fell flat on my life, more or less, and what was there to break my fall?  Why, a cactus.  Yes, a cactus.  I had to pull about half a dozen long, thick needles from my hand, and the ring finger of my left hand, which had been pierced in the joint, remained paralyzed for about a month afterward.  At the time of my unfortunate tumble, I tried to soothe my wound with a bit of water, and do you know what happened next?  I got chased by a bee.  No joke.  I think it was a thirsty bee, but either way, I did not appreciate its company in that moment.