Even though I hear that I “gotta”. (While that title appears to be a reference to a song from the child’s TV show, “Lazy Town”, it is not. Well, okay, it is, but only because it was mentioned in the wonderful “Kingdom Hearts” fan fic, “Those Lacking Spines”.) Ahem, sometimes, I like to try my hand at baking. But, to be quite honest, I’m not a very good chef. At all. I don’t know what I do wrong, because even if I follow all the directions, everything I cook usually turns out nothing like it should. (My frozen pizzas taste like cinnamon. What unholy sorcery is this?!) Okay, maybe I do know sometimes why my concoctions turn out disturbing. Maybe it’s because I…well, sometimes I skip directions. I mean, how different can it be if I just stir in the egg or the butter without beating it first or whatever other sadistic thing they want me to do to it? And okay, I guess that sometimes, maybe perhaps, I suppose I leave out an entire ingredient. Like eggs. But, hey, I didn’t have any eggs at the time, so back off! Ahem, sorry. So, I guess you can say that I like to experiment (if you want to put it nicely and not just go right out and say I’m just a failure at following directions). I can be a bit of a mad scientist in the kitchen at times, well, not really, but a little bit, and as a result, I have baked some rather distressing creations.
Take my eggless cupcakes, for example. I decided I’d try making cupcakes, and with it being one of those days my house was lacking in the pre-chicken department, I thought I’d replace the liquid for the eggs with milk. Because replacing one product from the really cold aisle of the grocery store with another such item that is usually found nearby shouldn’t make much of a difference, now should it? Well, we all know the answer to that question, but I’ll answer it anyway. Wrong! For some unexplainable reason, this did not work. These cupcakes, while tasting okay, were also utterly destroyed upon removing them from their liners, as they were so…sticky. Who knew replacing eggs with milk would make cupcakes like glue? Well, I do now. Luckily, my eggless peanut butter cookies turned out fine. However, regular cookies turn out runny without eggs, I found. Continue reading The Duck Doesn’t Do the Cookin’ By the Book