Tag Archives: art class

Egregious Things Part 3

Come on over for another list of things worthy of hate and disappointment.  Yes, the duck decided to do another one of these things.  It’s…egregious things…cubed!

            I don’t like when names of stores or whatever use ‘n’ in place of and.  It just bugs me.  Put an’ if you’re going to be goofy, but not ‘n’.  No one says ‘n’.  It’s not natural.  They’d say and or an’.  It’s not even that easy to say ‘n’.  Which is easier to say: Ducks an’ Geese or Ducks ‘n’ Geese?  Normal sentient beings do not say ‘n’!  I don’t like ‘n’!  That’s a big N for NO!  I have also always hated the phrases “for him”, “for her”, or “his and hers”.  They’re just creepy.  I can’t explain how.  It’s like they’re implying they know the person you’re giving something to or whatever, and a simple “him” or “her” is sufficient.  I don’t know.  It’s just weird.

            I hated PE in school.  I don’t really need to get into detail since it is a deep disdain felt by nearly every living being in the galaxy, and possibly by some inanimate objects as well, but I will anyway.  I hated every bit of it.  For one thing, getting into your undies in front of your classmates.  Or anyone for that matter.  Why are a bunch of children expected to get nearly naked in front of each other?  What sick mind thought that up?

            And of course, I was the type to get picked last, though that’s not completely true.  The second to last person is picked last.  The last person isn’t picked at all.  So more accurately, I was never picked.  I’m sure a bunch of you know how that is.  And why are a bunch of children put in a situation where they get verbally abused by other children?  They took their darn volleyball so seriously.  I’m sorry I missed the ball, okay!  Maybe I’m just distracted by the fact that I’ll have to get naked in front of you guys yet again in about a half hour.

            And I have to throw in math class, of course.  And what the darn is a logarithm?  And try naming one instance where you need it.  Just one.  I dare you.

            Also, people in art class could be brutal.  So what, I didn’t draw nostrils just right.  Sue me.

            Another thing I absolutely hate is when video games are hard just because they’re not made right.  I have no problem with video games being hard.  I want something that challenges me.  I love when it actually takes effort to beat a boss.  When I have to spend quite a bit of thinking to solve a puzzle.  When I get quite lost in a dungeon, and then I finally figure out what to do next.  (I have “The Legend of Zelda” on my mind right now because this is a series that treats its players right.  That’s one of the many reasons I love it.  Thank you, “TLoZ”.  Try pronouncing that.)

            But, I can’t stand when a game is hard for stupid reasons.  When I was playing “Sonic Heroes”, I would die so many times, and it wasn’t even my fault.  I would press one button, and the character would go speeding off a ledge.  Or they would fall off things they never usually fell off of.  I hate when games are super persnickety, like “Okami”.  I love “Okami”, but sometimes you had to draw things just right.  I drew a circle a zillion times, and they just didn’t like it.  I don’t know what I did wrong.  It had to be just close enough to the object, I guess, but not too close.  And I also hate when game controls are absurd.  Rocket barrel levels of “Donkey Kong Country Returns”, yeah, I’m talking to you.  Those levels were bad enough to make you pull out your hair (or feathers) until you’re bald.  I die because I hold the button down a fraction of a second too long or not long enough.  What kind of a world do we live in when such things can happen to good people?  This should be a punishment in prison.

            And there’s another list of things I hate.  What kind of things do you hate?

The Duck Who Was a Loser in P.E. Because P.E. Stands For Pure Evil


I was remembering recently this art class I took years ago, when I was just a little duckling (there were older kids, too).  I remember part of the class copying a picture of a wolf that I was looking at, and at the time I thought it was quite masterful.  I don’t have it anymore, but I’m sure it wasn’t.  I also remember us drawing these silly chubby dragons one day.  Silly ones, mind you, not cool ones.  To this day, I still can’t draw cool dragons.  Bah!

            And I had this one disappointing memory where each person in the class would draw a scribble, and we would make it into a drawing.  I was picked last, as usual, and they thought my scribble looked like a word written in cursive.  How disappointed I was.  Here I was thinking I would get up and draw the most awesome scribble ever seen by man and was anticipating what kind of thing they would make it into, and alas!  It looked like a word!  How did they even manage to turn a scribble into a word?  Though, perhaps it’s not that weird because I got this bizarre squiggle on my sunglasses that won’t come off that looks like a cursive RA.

            Anyway, speaking of scribbles, I still enjoy finding pictures in weird things.  A marking on the wall, a squiggle on tile.  In one place, there was a dent in the wall that looked almost exactly like a Kingdom Hearts keyblade.  And a wet area on my shower curtain looked just like Falco from Star Fox standing there with his arms crosses.  (What do you mean, I play too many video games?)  Though, I guess those weren’t really creative at all.  But, I’ve seen dragons and other creatures in other random shapes.  I should try and draw them sometimes.  When I was very young, I saw an eagle face in the bark of a tree (I think it may have fallen off eventually, and I was disappointed) and a face in the fold of a curtain.  …I’m starting to think I’m insane.

 The Duck of Demented?