The Duck’s First Novel

Hello, everyone. I have something rather nifty to share with all of you, and I completely forgot about it until now. I finished my first novel. Now, in all honesty, it is, in fact, a fan fiction novel, but I still think it was a pretty cool accomplishment. This story is fan fiction for the awesome video game series “Jak and Daxter”, and it stars the main villains from the first game, Gol and Maia. You see, these wicked siblings were not always evil, but were made that way due to studying Dark Eco, a very corrupting substance, for far too long. This stuff warped their minds, which resulted in their decision to try and flood the world with Dark Eco so that they could remake it in their own image. Fortunately, they failed and ended up trapped inside the very Dark Eco silo they were trying to open.

In case you didn't believe me, here's the title.
In case you didn’t believe me, here’s the title.

And while it was implied in the “Jak 3” guide that the two were still alive centuries later during the events of the later games and could eventually return, this never happened, and how much can you really rely on what a guide says anyway? Nevertheless, I wanted so very badly to see another game with them in it, but since it appears that’s never going to happen, I decided it was time I took matters into my own hands. Gola and Maia would return, but it would be in the form of a novel I would write, proving all the more that I am an obsessive lunatic.

In fact, it was this very idea that got me back into writing, a passion I have had since as long as I can remember, but which I gave up for many years. And so I began writing this story where Gol and Maia would return to wreak havoc once again upon the world, with an emphasis on their possible redemption, thanks to a strange Wastelander woman named Kassra (currently my best original character ever) whom Gol meets shortly after their escape from the silo. I started publishing the story chapter by chapter over on fanfiction.net under the title of “Blackened Hearts and Desert Pearls”, and people seemed to really enjoy it. I got many good reviews (about 140 to date), and many people liked Kass, while one person, Purple Armadillo, has done several pieces of fan art for the story and plans to do more in the future.

The annoyingly cheerful Kass.
The annoyingly cheerful Kass.

As I wrote it, I eventually decided that I would really like to print it out and put it in a binder, kind of like a makeshift book binding, so that I could finally have a hardcover copy of a story I had “published”. Better yet, I thought it would be really cool if it included the illustrations Purple Armadillo did. Since I had a dying inkjet printer, and I had never had much luck with such contraptions, I bought myself a black and white laser printer (well, just black, if you stop to think about it) that could print double-sided in anticipation of this marvelous event. In the end, the story turned out to be about 200,000 words and 500 pages, and I had to run to the store and get toner in the middle of printing out the whole thing (the trial toner doesn’t last that long, I suppose). I hole-punched it as it was printing, and I put it into this rather spiffy binder I found that was the closest I could get to a book binding. I also put my inkjet onto its highest quality setting to print out the fan art, including one lovely image done in watercolor that I used for the cover, and they printed out pretty darn okay.

Here's my novel chilling on the couch.
Here’s my novel chilling on the couch.

And that, my dear readers great and small, is how I published my very first novel. It’s quite lovely, too. Take a look for yourself….

I swear it really is longer than that.
I swear it really is longer than that.

Blackened Ducks, We’re Spicy

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