Everyone has goals in life, right? Some call them dreams. But, whatever you call them, everyone has these certain special things they want to accomplish in life. The duck is no exception. My goals or dreams, whichever, include some things that are very unrealistic, some bizarre, and some that are a bit too simplistic to count as actual goals. Nevertheless, I thought I’d list here my current list of things I want to do before I become a fluffy, chewy, duck ghost. A ducket list.
1. Eat a soufflé, preferably cheese or chocolate. Or both, but not in the same soufflé. I mean, spread out over two soufflés. As you may have guessed, this is one of my very unrealistic goals. Eat a soufflé, you say, duck? You may as well wish to go to the moon, another feat never accomplished by human nor duck kind. (I mean, seriously, it’s like a good, 100, 200 miles away.) I know, I know, soufflés are that mythical food that are very difficult to make and only stay good a short time. But, I want to eat one someday. (Actually, after typing this post, but before posting it, I did make some soufflés, after all. A cheese one and a chocolate one. They turned out to be surprisingly easy to make, though the cheese one was tasteless. The chocolate one was good, though. Anything chocolate is good. I just decided to keep my soufflé rant, despite accomplishing this goal.)
2. Play creepy music on an organ during a bad thunderstorm. Or at least, play creepy music on the piano, if an organ can’t be found. Though, I would certainly prefer an organ. A really monstrous one. And then I’d play the organ music from the Mad MonsterMansion church in “Banjo-Kazooie” or perhaps the music from “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken” (now I want to watch that movie again, oh the guy that play Barney Fife, you’re so funny). With thunder in the background, it would be awesome, like a real-life spooky movie. Do you think a church would let me? I must visit my local Catholic church and see what they say. I hope it’s okay I’m a Presbyterian….
3. Publish something. Something. Something! Anything! Just publish something! Oh, my gosh, this is the soufflé dream all over again! It’ll never happen! Especially since lately, I’ve been writing nothing but fan fiction. Don’t think the publishers will take that.
4. Like goal number one, I actually did this one, too, but it was a goal for so long, I must list it. Play “Final Fantasy VII”. It was the main game I wanted to play, and I finally did it. It was awesome.
5. And also, catch up on some other old games. Old “Zelda” games, “Metroid”. “Earthbound”, “Chrono Cross” and “Trigger”, the good “Spyro” ones, plus “Final Fantasy” games I missed (specifically “VI”, “VIII”, and “IX”.) This is easily accomplished if I’d get off my butt and actually procure them. But, you know how it is, once you order it from Amazon, it takes like a week to show up, and I just don’t know if I can wait that long.
6. Have one of my posts Freshly Pressed by WordPress. Come on, already, press it freshly!
7. Become a top reviewer on Amazon. Okay, I gave up on this one, and it was a dumb goal anyway. I just thought it would be neat to be the best reviewer in the whole, wide world. But, then I got bored of writing reviews, and no one would click that it was helpful. They seemed bent on clicking unhelpful as of late, undermining all my hard work. And I have other things to do and no longer have the time to write reviews that will simply be marked as not helpful. I nearly broke the 100,000 mark, which wasn’t bad, seeing as I started out on 1,500,000. But, alas, it shan’t ever come true.
8. Sell prints of my art. That would be neat. Just like publishing something would be neat. Or eating a soufflé. This one might come true. I could print out some with relative ease. Then harass people until they purchase it. Or bribe them with soufflés. Or play scary organ music at them until they relent. So many means to reaching this goal. Which one shall I take?
9. Have a booth at a comic convention. It would be awesome to show off my work at a convention and sell stuff. Once again, using the methods as described above. I’m sure I can at least have a booth. They can’t stop that if I wave a nice one dollar bill under their noses. Or even some brownies. Mmmm, brownies. With schmellows on top. So yeah, that’s my goal, as actually selling something from that booth is highly unlikely, and I’d have to be an absolute nutter to think anyone would buy any of my stuff without a great deal of force involved.
10. Watch “Soylent Green”. I already know it’s made of people, but I never saw the movie, so I must. Come on, Netflix. Have it! Have it, darn you! It’s impossible to get movies when you want anymore because stupid Blockbuster doesn’t have stores anymore! Plus, I hate paying for stuff if there are free options. (You hear that, WordPress, you’re never getting a cent from me.) I should check Youtube, perhaps.
So I think a list of ten is good. I can always add more later. What are your goals in life, whether they be the whimsical, the impossible, or the actually realistic and logical?
Soylent Duck, It’s Made of Corn Dogs, the Horrors!