The Duck Masters the ABC’s

When reading Naughty Nefarious’ post about him receiving the ABC award, he got to make a nice alphabetical list of things.  I didn’t pay attention to the exact rules, if there even were any, and this may be weird to do, since I have not actually gotten this award, but I decided to make a similar post anyway, listing things that come to mind, ranging from A-Z.  Here I go.

            A: Artist, something I’ve always wanted to be.  Art, something I’ve always been bad at.

            B: Bowties, which are cool….  Along with bunk beds….  But, blinking is not cool.  Because we all know what happens when people in “Dr. Who” blink…

            C: Coelacanth.  Try pronouncing that.  It’s called a “living fossil” because it’s such an old fish.  It also got you a lot of money in “Animal Crossing”.

            D: “Dr. Who”, a great show.  Doctor #11 is my favorite (the current one).  He wears cool bowties….  And you thought I was going to say “Ducks”, didn’t you?

            E: Elves, something I used to think were neat, and now I just find them silly.  I think it was due to the fact that “The Lord of the Rings” exposed me to nine hours of fantasy that I now like sci-fi more.  Those movies are so long.  So very long.

            F: Fan art and fan fiction, two very entertaining pastimes.  Not as entertaining as the video games from which I get my inspiration from, but still great.

            G: Green.  A great color.  It’s the color of nature.  I like nature.  Not to have to be out in it or hear it or otherwise interact with it.  But, it’s nice to look at.

            H: Hearts, a very misunderstood body part.  Why is the heart symbol not shaped like a human heart?  When Valentine’s Day comes along, we should be drawing a much different shape on our cards, complete with arteries, not that pointy, bumpy monstrosity people mistake for hearts.  Not that hearts have anything to do with feeling affection.  We really should draw brains on Valentine’s Day cards.  And it’s not on the left side of the chest, it’s in the center!  My biology teacher said so!  Oh, the lies people have been telling me about hearts!

            I: Italian food, something everyone in the world seems to love but me.  I don’t see the appeal.  I don’t like pasta.  Pizza’s good, but not pasta.  And I don’t like sauces.  Darn Olive Garden has nothing but noodles and food drenched in sauce.  Also Ikea.  Not a fan of their furniture.  Plus, they have the creepiest children’s toys.  Have you seen them?  Rat plushies.  Pillbug plushies.  And even these stuffed hearts with arms (once again, people really have no clue what hearts look like).  Why have stuffed vermin, bugs, and organs for children to play with?  I’m not even joking.  The toys there are bizarre.  Why not rabbits and kittens?

            J: Jammie Dodgers, a treat I heard about from “Dr. Who”.  I tried them once and was not a fan.  They have a silly name, though.  Also, Julius Caesar, who was not the first emperor of Rome, another lie people told me.  He was a dictator, darn it!  Get that straight!  He dictated, not…emperored!

            K: K-Mart, a mythical store.  I thought I caught a glimpse of one once, but when I looked again, it was gone.  Mysterious.  And they even have commercials for them every now and then, when everyone knows they’re not a real thing.  Why don’t we just advertise flights to the Mushroom Kingdom while we’re at it?

            L: “Lawrence of Arabia”, a movie I do not like.  Like “The Lord of the Rings”, it is also so darn long.  Once my parents were watching it, and I was really sick, and I was laying on the couch, and I kept falling asleep and then waking up, only to find the darn movie was STILL ON!

            M: Milk, a really delicious drink, and it goes great with chocolate.  But, it didn’t seem to strengthen my bones because, despite it taking me an absurd amount of time to brush my teeth, I still got cavities.  You let me down, milk.

            N: Nautilus, really cool looking sea creatures.  You’ve seen them, right?  With the round shells and the little tentacles.  They feel like they should be from the dinosaur time period.  They’re awesome.

            O: Orange, the grossest color, next to yellow and brown.  Oranges also taste bad.  Everyone likes oranges, it seems, but me.  It’s also really disappointing when you get a box of chocolates, and some candies contain orange filling.  Disgusting!  And no one likes the orange popsicles!  Stop making them!  We eat the grapes and cherries, and the oranges just sit there, never to be consumed.

            P: PlayStation 2, the best console.  I love it so much.  You have no idea.  It’s just so great.  The games are so great.  It’s little blue and green lights are just so great.

            Q: Quack, a sound made by the cutest animals in the world.

            R: Rainbow cookies and rugelach.  Some of my favorite treats.  But hard to make.  Along with baklava.  But, that doesn’t start with R.  It’s like an R, though, if you remove the R’s right leg and flip it upside down.  But, that would be inhumane.

            S: “Star Wars” and “Star Trek”, two good pieces of entertainment.  I like “Star Wars” better myself, but “Star Trek” has Spock.  Which also starts with S.  Speaking of space-related things, Saturn is by far the most superb and splendid of the planets in the solar system.  Swell!

            T: Tornadoes, wings down the scariest natural event.  Well, behind black holes.  And perhaps super novas and erupting volcanoes.  And spiders.  I had several scares with them.  Tornadoes.  Well, spiders, too.  But, we’re discussing tornadoes right now.  Ahem.  I never saw them, but I know I heard one outside my house one night as a hurricane was going by.  At least, they say tornadoes sound like trains, and I heard a train going by for an hour.  Either it was a really long train, which would also be creepy, or it was a tornado.

            U: Unicorns, who should’ve stopped being idiots and gotten on Noah’s Ark when they had the chance.  Wouldn’t it have been cool to ride around on a horse that can stab your enemies?  It would’ve changed old-fashioned warfare.  People would have attack unicorns instead of attack dogs.  In short, the world would be a better place.

            V: Video games, the greatest hobby to have ever been invented.  I love them, love them, love them, love them.  And they caused me to start writing and drawing.  They have changed my life in a profound manner.

            W: Water, something I’ve been traumatized by ever since those swimming lessons with the guy who was perpetually angry.  Another thing that terrifies me that starts with W are the Weeping Angels in “Dr. Who”.  So scary!

            X: Xistential.  Things I ponder.  And yes, I do know the correct spelling.

            Y: Yggdrasil, a tree from Norse mythology (not North mythology because that’s not even a thing, silly).  I don’t know, it’s a cool word that starts with Y.  And I like learning about mythology.  It’s fun.  Did you know that the saying “between a rock and a hard place” came from Odysseus’s run-in with Scylla the monster and Charybdis the whirlpool?  Did you?  Did you?

            Z: Zebras, one of my favorite animals at the zoo.  They’re like vanilla with chocolate drizzle.  Or are they chocolate with vanilla drizzle?  They’re the black and white cookies of the animal world.  The ice cream sundaes of the safari.  The Hershey’s hugs (much better than kisses) of mammal land.

D Stands for Duck

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5 thoughts on “The Duck Masters the ABC’s

  1. A great list. I had a few chuckles along the way =)

    Re: Mythology. Yes, I learned of the ‘rock and a hard place’ when my Dad bought me the kiddie’s version of ‘The Iliad and The Odyssey’ when I was 11 =)

    Like

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