Since I am such a complainer, I was able to split my last Egregious Things post into two, so here is yet another list of things I despise. And let’s get things started with something particularly horrid, braces. One of the worst things in the world. So bad, they need their own post. (And have one. I just didn’t post it yet. Due to my slowness, I may not for quite some time.) Oh, the years of intense pain. The malnutrition (I now know what it’s like to not eat for several days straight, which is surprisingly not so bad once your stomach dies and stops hurting). And the tiny rubber bands that pop off constantly. The only instance where technically being a cyborg isn’t cool. Because braces suck. People say they don’t hurt. Oh, they hurt. A lot.
And video game cut scenes that won’t let you skip them. No one likes that. Name one person that likes their gameplay to be repeatedly interrupted with a scene they just saw. The only reason we are re-watching a scene is because we died or are repeating a level for another reason. When I was destroyed by a boss, I am really not in the mood to repeat a couple minute cut scene time after time just to attempt to fight it again. And sometimes when I play “Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One”, I won’t even return to a level I want to play because I simply don’t want to re-watch the cut scene. Fine, I won’t play at all! Does that make you super happy! Because it doesn’t make me happy!
I also really hate when in TV shows, people are playing video games and pressing the buttons like crazy. No one really does that. Unless you’re playing a fighting game and you are a button masher like myself. Other than that, no one really spazzes out when they play. Their hands are practically just convulsing wildly and uncontrollably all over the controller. Normally, you’d just see the person tilting the control stick, pressing buttons here and there. And then, they turn off the TV when they’re done, but not the console. Turning off the TV doesn’t turn off everything. So you’re just going to leave the console on for eternity, then? You are considerate enough to turn off your TV, but not the console. They also never lock their doors when they walk in the house. Do some research, people who make TV shows. Maybe you have robots or Keebler elves to turn your things off for you. Or have hired ninjas to kill any intruders that sneak in through your unlocked doors. But, not normal people.
Paper cuts. They come unexpectedly and sting so bad! How is it that they hurt so much? I’d rather be stabbed! Stupid, thin pieces of trees! How about we don’t cut you down to make paper anymore? How would you like that?
One-ply toilet paper. If there’s one thing I love, it’s basically not using toilet paper at all. Yep. Love that. I spend money so I can get the experience of going out in the woods and forgetting to bring toilet paper. I’d be better off creating a pile of leaves next to the toilet. At least, they should be thicker….
And I despise those things where you must type the squiggly letters in order to do something on the Internet. They want to make sure you’re a person and not a machine or something, but it’s absurd. (And who cares if you are a machine? Are you saying the robotic members of our society aren’t allowed to have an account on Wikipedia? That’s discrimination!) Sometimes you can’t see what the squiggles are. And sometimes you can, and you type it over and over again, but every time, it says you did it wrong even though you can’t possibly figure out where you went wrong. Sometimes I’ve worried I’d never get it. I almost had to use the handicap thing. Then, when I tried to check it out, the handicap thing didn’t work. So what, handicap people aren’t allowed to use certain Internet services, either? How do you feel about handicap robots? Whoever thought this up, you sicken me. I am literally going to vomit.
The Duck Who is Not Literally Going to Vomit At All