Today’s topic is light, something I have a love and hate relationship with. I hate the sun. It gets in my eyes when I drive. It shines through my window at just an angle as to be obnoxious if I go on the computer at a certain time of day. (I’m too stubborn to just move my computer somewhere else.) It also reflects off furniture into my face in the evening. And I need dark curtains to keep the bright street light from keeping me up at night. It’s bothersome.
I also hate glare on TV screens. In one place I lived, if you opened the curtains, the screen would be pretty much unusable. The curtains were even off to the side, but somehow, it would turn the TV screen an impenetrable black (not sure how light does that), and I can’t make out a thing. I’m lucky that where I live now, my video game TV is in the most perfect spot. The sun never shines directly through that window. I have the perfect lamp off to the side. Not too bright as to cause glare of its own, but bright enough. Perfect. The lighting in the room also is great in that I never see my own reflection in the TV. That room with the terrible glare had this weird lighting where, when the location in the game was dark, I could see my own reflection, and I had trouble seeing the things on the screen. Try playing video games with your giant head in the way. Not easy. Plus, I despise being stared at. Even by myself.
At the same time, light is very nice. It helps you to read and keeps the computer and TV screen from hurting your eyes when the room is a bit dark. It keeps vampires at bay, as well. (What, I wonder, do vampires do in places where it’s daylight for months at a time?) It is also wonderful when you hear creepy noises at night. Because apparently being able to see a murderer is less scary than not being able to see the murderer. Even though that means the murderer can now see you, too.
It’s very important to me that I have the right amount of light. I love overhead lighting. In places where I didn’t have it, I’d squeeze myself under a lamp to try and see things, and it just didn’t work super great. Especially with handheld video games. Is it just me or do those things eat light like a black hole? Without enough light, I just can’t see the darn screen. GameBoys are the worst. In one place I lived, I would actually play in the closet because the light was better in there (why did they put the best light in the closet, though, of all places?). Then, things got unpleasant when I started finding dead and crumpled daddy long legs in there. But, it was a great place for good lighting up until then.
So like I said, sometimes I hate light. Especially the sun. How I utterly despise that star of evil. Just die already! Just die in a supernova of death and happiness! We don’t need you! We have electricity now! But, other times, light makes things much more pleasant, especially when it’s not in rooms with spiders. It lets you see stuff better. It lets murderers know that you know that they’re there. In certain situations, light can be a grand thing.
The Light Duck, But Not in a Low-Calorie Sense