Today’s topic in my self-imposed 100 theme blog challenge, love. Eugh, no. This is not my kind of topic. I’ve never been into…love. Never liked Valentine’s Day. Never watched romance movies (voluntarily). Never understood why love stories had to be forced into every movie or book whether it made sense or not. (Am I the only one that thought most of the pairings in “Harry Potter” made no sense? Ron and Hermione? Are you kidding me?) You will hardly see any love stories in my writing/comics. Small bits may be in there, but never as a big part. And never in the form I hate most. Mushy, squishy, makes me want to puke love. Or completely unrealistic love. (Because maybe I’m a boring person. But, I can’t help it.)
In the past, I’ve been stuck watching rather sickening, silly romance movies. And like I said, they can be so unrealistic. I remember these movies where the woman has a lot of guys that like her, and poor her, who should she choose? Oh, woe to she who has to choose between the handsome, rich, kind man, or the rich, kind, handsome man. Can there be a more stressful plight? All you people who are homeless and starving, get over it! Unless you’ve had to decide between two great choices, you haven’t known suffering!
And then it’s so easy to meet people, too. All of you who have tried dating web sites, why, I ask? Apparently, just walk into your local grocery store and people of the desired gender will just be falling over you. What, you’ve tried that? Well, try again. It works in the movies. Everywhere the main character goes, she meets new perfect men. Oh, look, she meets the perfect guy at the laundromat. And then the gas station. You know what also works great? Dropping something. Then, if someone helps you pick it up, “accidentally” touch their hand, and presto! There’s your recipe for instant love, everyone! I’ve discovered it! You need no love potion or arrow from a flying infant! (Of course, I’d be washing my hands thoroughly after such an encounter. I don’t know where their hands have been. Do they wash after going to the bathroom? Do they have well-hidden leprosy? You just can’t know.)
And I mean no offense to people who like these movies, but the sheer amount just seems to get a bit overboard. There’s this one channel I watch sometimes, and during the commercials, I am bombarded with romance movie after romance movie. There’s just a ridiculous amount of them. And they’re all the same. You can’t simply change the main characters’ hair colors or what town they live in and claim it is a new idea. It’s not. It’s just not. Please think of something actually unique. A love story about some blonde people in Connecticut is no different from a love story about redheads in Illinois. Though, I’m sure both have been done.
And one more thing. The characters that fall in love with everyone they meet. And they do it immediately. How can you go from meeting someone to being deeply in love so fast? I’m talking to you, Captain Kirk of “Star Trek”. At least give it a day or two. I don’t think twenty minutes is enough time to say you’re in love with someone and willing to spend the rest of your life with them. Maybe you can say you love a pie within twenty minutes or a scrumptious fried chicken leg, but not a person. That takes more time. It takes me longer than that to decide if I like a movie, darn it! It took me longer than that to get used to my new cable box, that was the same model as my old cable box.
Anyway, I’m not completely against all love stories, but I’m pretty picky about the ones that don’t revolt me. I prefer it when it’s not the central plot. Or when it’s not forced in just for the sake of a love story. Or when the people get to know each other before they fall in love, and meeting the other person wasn’t so easy, and they go through trouble and still find it worth it to stick with each other. And when they like each other for more than just their looks and other more shallow things. Play “Super Paper Mario” or watch “Howl’s Moving Castle” and see what I mean. No one meets in a post office. No one uses the instant drop-something love recipe. No one has a dozen people desperate for their love (well, Count Bleck was pretty popular with the ladies, but that’s not the same thing!). And no one falls in love before they get to know each other. Heck, in “Howl’s Moving Castle”, a good-looking young man actually falls in love with a lady considered unattractive! Now that’s at least different. So there. There’s my thoughts on love. Eeyarg!
Not a Lovey Dovey Ducky