Count Razoff

As good at rolling his R’s as he is at shooting his rifle

“Unlucky and unwise is he who risks entering my domain. Let’s give him a warm welcome.”-Count Razoff

I decided it was time to write a post on another one of my favorite characters.  This time, though, I have to admit something.  He’s not a great character.  He’s not complex.  He has no character development.  I don’t even know really why I like the character.  He’s actually among the bottom of my list of favorite characters, and I thought I would have grown tired of him by now, but alas, I have not.  And so he deserves a post.

            The character I am talking about is Count Razoff, an underrated character from “Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc”.  He is an expert hunter.  He has an ego bigger than his mansion.  He is a tall, green…thing with bizarre proportions and a huge schnoz.  And he’s possibly a little insane.  Maybe somewhat.  I have always liked this guy ever since I first played the game back during the crazy year of 2003, long, long ago.  Razoff is a boss character in “Rayman 3”, and I think he is the best character in the game.  He’s actually my favorite character in the series.  I can say that because “Rayman” games, despite being awesome sauce, don’t have really deep, complex characters.  So sorry, Razoff.  Maybe saying you’re the best “Rayman” character isn’t saying much at all.  But, enough of my rambling.

            Ahem.  Count Razoff is a rich hunter who lives alone in this big mansion in the Bog of Murk.  This mansion is a maze of rooms and hallways and is decorated almost entirely with pictures of his favorite thing, himself (pictures of all sizes, huge ones, tiny ones, everywhere).  Razoff actually has so many pictures of himself, he has extras just laying around in places.  Razoff’s mansion also contains huge statues of himself and statues of things he has caught.  (Which seems to be small creatures.  Like piranhas and squirrels.  I’m not impressed.)  He also has pairs of these little bug-like creatures chained up in various places, as well.  (I always felt bad for them.  They look so sad.  Fortunately, you can free them.)  The one other thing in the world Razoff loves about as much as himself is hunting, and every portrait and statue of himself features him holding his rifle.  Despite the less than impressive prey he has captured, he is supposed to be a very good shot.

            In the game, Rayman wanders into Razoff’s mansion looking for his friend, Globox.  Here, Razoff attempts to hunt and kill Rayman.  Actually, according to the Raywiki, it is part of Razoff’s family’s tradition for each member to capture dangerous prey, and poor Rayman is apparently exactly the prey Razoff was looking for.  So the battle consists of you wandering about the mansion, looking for Razoff.  Sometimes, he’s in the hallway or at the top of the stairs, shooting at you with his rifle (which shoots arrows), and once you get close, he runs.  (For someone with such short legs, he is surprisingly fast.)  Sometimes, he runs into a room as the doors all close, and he shoots at you until you hurt him enough, then he leaves behind a few bombs and flees.  Other times, you run into a room, and you see yourself through Razoff’s crosshairs.  He shoots at you several times, and you can’t avoid him unless you hide behind furniture (which sometimes restores itself when it’s destroyed somehow).

            After defeating him in his mansion, he runs into his basement, where he has a dungeon (this is where Globox is, too) and for whatever reason, a wrecking ball hanging from the ceiling.  Why one day he felt the need for a wrecking ball in his basement, I’ll never know.  This part of the fight isn’t as fun.  It consists of Razoff riding around on the wrecking ball and trying to kill you with it.  Once the battle is over, the chain on the wrecking ball breaks and Razoff falls.  Then, the critters that you freed in his mansion come to protect Rayman and Globox, causing Razoff to drop his gun and flee like the thin, green coward he is, and run right into the witch, Begoniax, who apparently has a huge crush on him.  (I guess I have to assume she came through the magic mirror Razoff has down here.  He really should’ve secured that thing better.)  Begoniax grabs poor Razoff and despite his struggling, I assume she takes him away.  I don’t know what happens to him after, but Begoniax apparently turns men who reject her into toads.  Karma sucks, doesn’t it, Razoff?

            I always liked fighting Razoff.  I greatly enjoyed wandering around his maze of a mansion, looking for the weirdo, and hearing his funny dialogue (complete with R rolling).  Because of this, I would take my time fighting him so I could hear as much of his dialogue as I could.  Here’s some of the better quotes that I remember:

Here, pretty, pretty, pretty!  (Why, thank you.)

I’ll be right back.  I have to go powder my nose.  (Now?!)

You’ll look perfect in my living room.  Stuffed and mounted on my wall!

I came, I saw, I kicked some butt.  (Did you now?  That’s not how I remember it.)

I’ve always wanted a Rayman skin rug in front of my fireplace.

No more steroids for you, scoundrel!  (…)

Oh, did you hurt yourself?

Ha!  The faster you run, the faster you die!  (That doesn’t even make sense, but okay.)

            Anyway, Razoff also appears in or is related to three mini games.  He’s a spoiled character, isn’t he?  There’s a game called Crush where you squish a bunch of Begoniax’s toads with Razoff’s wrecking ball (Apparently, she cast a spell on his dungeon which made all the toads appear.).  There’s also a first-person game where you shoot Rayman, Globox, and Hoodlum targets called Razoff Circus (which, luckily, bears no resemblance to the kind of circus that gives me nightmares, oh, the clowns…).  And last of all is a game called Commando where you play as Razoff (who I very much hope is not going commando) and you go through three areas and shoot Hoodlums.  Rayman is fortunate Razoff didn’t show such bravery back in the mansion.  Apparently, Hoodlums with guns don’t scare him, but little unarmed critters do.

            Now I thought it was interesting to mention that I recently found that Razoff was based off of General Zaroff from “The Most Dangerous Game”, a short story by Richard Connell (mentioned in the previous post, actually).  (The in-game description actually states that Razoff is Zaroff’s son.  Hmm.  I assume Razoff must look more like his mother, then.)  In the story, a shipwrecked man ends up on an island, where General Zaroff, bored of hunting animals, hunts people.  And you can pretty much predict the rest.

            So maybe when I think about it, I guess I do know why I like Razoff so much.  Simply put, I just thought he was a fun character and had more personality than the other bad characters in the game.  What’s not to love about an extremely narcissistic, possibly somewhat loony hunter that rolls his R’s and yells things like, “No more steroids for you, scoundrel!”?  There’s nothing.  Not to love.  Okay, that was awkward, but you get the point.

            Oh, and I drew the picture.  It’s my newest picture yet.  I know it’s not that creative and he has pretty much the same pose as in one of his statues, but I tried.  I wanted it to look like just another portrait Razoff would have in his house.  Despite it being simple, I am rather proud of it.  I tried to make the background less boring by adding extra detail.  I even did my own wood texture in places, as you can see, and I think I did some rather decent metal and fabric coloring, too, if I do say so myself.  I also finally decided to try putting a gaussian blur in the background so it wouldn’t be as clear as the foreground, which I think adds a nice effect.  All in all, it looks rather all right.  Anyway, Razoff and all that are property of Ubisoft.

Edit: I thought it would be fitting to add a quote to the top of each character post.  So I did.

The Duck Who Will Avoid Razoff So I Don’t Become an Adorable Head on a Wall


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