I had a very strange day one time when I was trying to get somewhere. I can’t say where because then people could find me and eat my delicious duck body, so I won’t disclose the location. Let’s just call it Ideal Location. Or IL. (Not Illinois.) I needed to be there at 9 AM. I planned my departure time accordingly. I set out on my way, humming music from the video game I had been playing, completely unaware of the lugubrious situation I was heading towards at 35 to 45 miles per hour.
The first hint of trouble was a sign. It was situated on the opposite side of the road, strategically placed behind a tree. I managed to make out “7:30 to 12:00”, and then I passed it and could surmise no more. Shortly after, I ended up at an intersection. I needed to go straight to, let’s call it, Necessary Road (NR, but not Nebraska, if that even is the initials forNebraska), but alas! The road was blocked going straight and heading left.
Hmm, this was quite a predicament. So I went right and turned left the first chance I got. I ended up in some winding neighborhood and eventually ended up on another road leading to IL, which I’ll call Other Road or OR (Not Oregon!). But, this road was blocked, too. My only choice was turning right, where I ended up in another neighborhood. So along I went, catching occasional glimpses of detour signs, while following someone that seemed to know where they were going. I ended up at a three way intersection (the fourth path was blocked, as expected at this point in my story), and I continued on farther. I eventually ended up on a road north of IL that I never wanted to be on that I’ll call Unwanted Road or UR (Ha ha, you thought it would be initials for a state again, didn’t you? I can’t imagine why…). So I thought this way might be promising, until my guide took an early right, and I became unsure of my progress once again.
So I ended up going along this one road that eventually led to the church that is on NR, not far from IL. But, the road here was blocked, too. The detour signs were here again, so I followed them, resulting in a loop through the nearby neighborhood, leading right back to the church. I headed back towards UR as someone followed me, hoping I would be their guide, perhaps. I decided to go right, but then I saw a detour sign. I made a U turn in the empty road, got stuck, backed up, and then went to the detour sign and started driving left on UR. I made it back to the road that ran past NR that I originally was going to cross near the beginning of my story. This wasn’t going to work at all.
So I needed to head back to UR and try my other intended path before I saw that final detour sign, but I couldn’t go back that way. That side of this road was blocked, as well. I turned right into a parking lot, started heading towards UR, but decided not to drive into the foreboding looking neighborhood. If I got lost in there, I may never be heard from again. So I returned back to the main road, intending to go the long way back to UR, and decided I would not go left at the first turn but would continue until I got to the first big road to avoid long, boring neighborhoods.
So I went along this for a ways, getting ready to turn left on OR, but I turned left too early. I ended up in a parking lot by a Starbucks (there’s millions of these, so it won’t give my location away). I went in a loop to get back to my intended road, but went to the wrong exit. I could only go right. I ended up looping through the parking lot many times, trying out new exits, until I ended up crossing the road and looping through that side. Finally, I made it to the correct exit, turned back onto the correct road, and turned left on OR. Again, I reached the blockade. Again, I went past the three way intersection. I ended up at OR, where they finally let me turn left and get to IL. I was thrilled. I’m not sure if I had gotten here before and turned the wrong way or if it was blocked earlier, but I finally got where I needed to be. A half hour late.
A Duck That Went Astray