A Decade of Insanity

I am celebrating a decade of nerd-dom (which was in the end of December, so this post is only a little late).  It’s been a great ten years of gaming.  Ten years of adventures, shooting space pirates and Covenant forces, jumping on turtles, killing Heartless and Nobodies, and collecting Chaos Emeralds.  There’s been laughter, surprises, heartbreak.  Almost every one of my favorite characters either has died or no longer appears in any games, which has been a disappointment, but besides that….

          At the beginning of time…I wasn’t here, so let’s fast-forward.  It feels like a while ago, but I guess it’s not.  The first console I had played was the Super Nintendo.  Skipped the Nintendo entirely, but whatever.  The SNES was and is still a great console for its time, but I was kind of afraid of video games back then.  Yes, afraid.  And I was crap at them then, too.  But, then I got the Nintendo 64, which looked so much better, and I played tentatively at first, but then, I was jumping into the deep end. I have played almost every day since then.  But, some may wonder why I would spend so much time on such a silly thing.

          You see, I like adventure, and yet I am too wimpy to do anything in real life.  Not only is there little adventure in the real world to begin with (at least, not like in the movies…or video games), but it’s such a dangerous place.  With video games, you can do things that are either impossible or that you would never do for real.  Oh, if only I could use Fira and Thundara on people I didn’t like, then, summon a monster to finish them off.  In Jak II, I found that stealing people’s zoomers was such fun (except when the Krimzon Guards started chasing and shooting at me).  But, in real life, I of course, would never really steal a vehicle or run from the cops.  And all of this, while sitting on a comfy chair in your own home.  Isn’t it a great world we live in where you can do so many things while sitting?  Well, maybe not, but still.

          And speaking of all that sitting, I’d just like to debunk the myth that video games make you fat.  After playing almost every day for ten years, I should be as big as a good-sized house.  But, I am not.  Also, some people think video games rot your brain.  Rot is not the right word.  Sure, your brain oozes a little, but that’s normal.  Just wipe that brain-goo out of your ears, and get back to gaming, darn it!

          But, seriously now.  Ahem.  Video games are relaxing, and we all need some times to just sit and blast the crap out of some zombies every one in a while.  Trust me, you’ll feel years younger.

          But, back on topic.

          The N64 was what got me into games, and I’m not sure what really made me less afraid of these delightful creations, but my fear soon dwindled.  How proud I was when I defeated my first chuchu in “The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask”.  I know, that doesn’t count for much, considering that a chuchu is just a blob with a silly grin on its face.  But, I started being able to finish harder and harder games.  I was accomplishing all kinds of little things each day, it felt like.  Things that only existed within the world made by the video game creators.  Though, I wasn’t completely satisfied back then.  I remember wishing that video games had good graphics, which actually happened sooner than I expected.  Anyway, after a while, I started running out of games to play.  I was finally playing my Super Nintendo games without fear, which were awesome, but I still was getting bored, until the GameCube came out.

          So, as you can guess, I bought one.  First game was “Super Smash Brothers Melee”, which totally knocked the socks off of the prequel on the N64.  (Literally, as the game is indeed not wearing any socks.)  It was awesome!  And Young Link was so adorable!  I got a whole bunch of games, including my first Metroid game, “Metroid Prime” and my first Sonic game, “Sonic Adventure 2: Battle”.  Once again, though, as the years went by, I got bored again.  There were no more good games coming out, it seemed.  So I decided to get something I had wanted for years.  Perhaps it made Nintendo cry that day.  I am sorry.  But, I got a Playstation 2.

          I had wanted a PS2 so badly ever since seeing commercials for “Kingdom Hearts” and the first “Jak and Daxter”, KH especially.  And yet, seeing as these things cost money, I just stuck with the familiar Nintendo consoles.  But, I am so glad I betrayed the big N and bought a Sony console.  So darn awesome!  The above-mentioned games are two of my favorite series ever, with Kindgom Hearts being quite possibly my top favorite.  I love all my consoles, but the PS2 is still one of my most treasured.

          The only problem I have with my darling PS2 is that it’s the most confusing console ever.  The on switch is in the back, and trying to stop a game is weird.  The game keeps going when you take the disc out, I found, so I’ve had to figure out different ways of retrieving my disc without the game still playing.  You know, I probably should just turn it off the way the manual tells me to.  Yeah, that would probably work.

          Anyway, I later got the XBox, and no, not for “Halo”, but because the third “Hunter: The Reckoning” only came out on it.  (Why I was such a big fan of that series at the time, I’ll never know.)  I did eventually get “Halo” when I was running out of games for my new console, which didn’t take long.  I don’t know why I didn’t get it sooner.  The best thing the XBox has, methinks.  But, I got the poor console near the end of its reign.  I don’t think it was very long before the 360 came out, so no more new games for the XBox.

          Luckily, more games still came out for the Cube and PS2, including the amazing “Kingdom Hearts 2”, which I think I got the day it came out.  I also replayed old games I had, and at that point, I had so many, it wasn’t boring at all.  But, I’m a naughty little duck, and when the Wii came out, I told myself I didn’t want it, but I watched it carefully.

          A new Metroid Prime, Paper Mario, and Super Mario game.  Oh, I’m not missing anything, right?  No, certainly.  But, then “Super Smash Brothers Brawl” came out, and as you probably know by now, I am a weak duck.  A very weak one.  And I had to get the Wii.  But, I checked every store, and none were to be found.  I had stupidly bought the games already, and the days left to return them were running out.  I had about a month.  So I paid extra for one on Amazon.  I’m a very foolish duck.  But, I cannot resist the call of a new console.  Oh, how I have sinned in my weaknesses!

         And it’s a delight!  The motion sensing stuff is so fun.  There’s such a variety of things you can do in different games.  Some games don’t make much use of the motion, such as simply making you shake the controller around to attack.  Seriously, folks.  But, some games do much more, from drawing, to pulling off enemy shields, to controlling your character as they walk on a ball.  My arm actually got tired in some games.  I got sore from playing video games!  I’ll be totally ripped in no time!

         But, do you know what happened next?  I bet you do.  The next options left for this plot to branch off to are the XBox 360 and Playstation 3.  What do you think I chose?  I loved the PS2, so naturally, the PS3 would be the next obvious choice, and yet I went for the 360.  Why?  The 360 is the only console that can play the current Rareware games, which is one of my favorite game companies, it was cheaper, and there were no games on the PS3 that I wanted and couldn’t get somewhere else.  Have you noticed that PS2 games are still sold in stores?  They even still make games for it, it seems.  At least, as far as I know.  Every Playstation-only game I’ve wanted so far has also been available for the PS2 or PSP, both of which I have.  I’m surprised by this shocking move by Sony, and there must be some reason behind it for making more money, but I like that they do that.  We’re not forced to buy the newest console to play the newest games.  That is part of why I haven’t bought a PS3 (sorry Sony), but it’s also what makes me like them even more.

          Anyway, though, the 360 is a delight.  And you can play the new Final Fantasy games (well, game so far) on it, which gives me less reason to get a PS3.  (Another sorry, Sony.  I still wuv you.)  This console is much better than the original.  It seems more friendly and even comes with a free Tetris-y game called “Hexic”, where you match 3 or more of the same colored hexagons to make them disappear.  And it comes with free trials of other games, too!  I got the Final Fantasy XIII edition of the 360, which simply says the name of that game on the side (or top, depending on how you place the console).  It also came with a pretty box.  Yay!  But, yeah, the 360 is a fun console.  And they got rid of those weird black and white buttons the original XBox had.  And now it has four of those trigger-type L and R buttons instead of two.  I like trigger buttons.  It feels like you’re really shooting stuff.  Yeah.

          I also love the gamer points you can get on the 360.  I have 2550 so far, which probably isn’t much compared to other people.  But, anyway, the points are fun because who doesn’t love getting points?  And it encourages you to do things you wouldn’t always bother with.  Sometimes it’s just things like get all of these, get 30 of those, finish the game on the highest difficulty setting.  Or sometimes it’s things like kill a certain number of enemies with a certain weapon or get through the game without getting hurt.  Sometimes, it’s weird things, like win a race by passing through the finish line backwards, which I tried, but failed.  I wish the Wii did that.  Does the PS3?  Oh, and another fun thing is, while I never got a Sega console, I can play 49 Sega Genesis games on the 360 with “Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection”.  That’s right.  Ultimate.  Take it seriously.

          Anyway, that’s a hopefully not boring summary of my gaming history.  (Oh, I also have a Game Boy Color and GB Advance, though neither really need mentioning.)  Ten years from now, I’ll treat you guys to my twentieth anniversary!  Now won’t that be nice?  Maybe we’ll have virtual reality by then.  I can be a Spartan for real!  Well, almost.  Gasp!  Will I ever get to use a Keyblade for real?!

          By the way, sorry that this post was so huge.



6 thoughts on “A Decade of Insanity

  1. I love the civilization building games but haven’t played for months. My whiz guy put on Linux Mint 10 and I need a second computer to use old windows 2000xp. Not being at the game has driven me to spend hours doing something else which I suppose is could because building Greece or defeating the Carthaginians is not a very productive life. I am sure Caesar and Alexander miss me as much as I miss them.


  2. Very enjoyable and humorous! I read every word, Duck, and that’s saying something. As you know, my boy is a big gamer. I want to get him a stationary bicycle that powers the 360 so he has to pedal if he wants to play. He is not as big as a house, and only occasionally do I have to wipe brain ooze from the cracks in his skull.
    On another note, I guess it depends where you live, but the world has some safe places and adventures waiting for you, all it takes is a walk. Have a ducky day!


    1. I’m glad you liked it. I was afraid it was too long. That bike thing is probably a good idea. But, considering that I’m a lazy duck, I know I wouldn’t enjoy it. I just need to find another way to force myself to exercise. Maybe getting up a lot to get more juice counts…


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