I struggled hard to reach my goal. Hours and hours it took. And finally, finally I have done it. No, I didn’t finish my comic script. Or publish my first work. No, I didn’t draw the most masterful of masterpieces. Or even invent a new kind of cheese! Stop guessing already; you’re expectations are too high!
No, what I did wasn’t all that monumental, but it doesn’t matter. I am proud. I beat Final Fantasy XIII, and it was an awesome game. It took me 104 hours and 20 minutes, from July 30 to December 17, but I beat it. Take that, final boss! Since it was such an awesome game, I had to write about it. Don’t worry, though, I’ll try to avoid typing any spoilers. Behold my vagueness!
Final Fantasy games are so dang long, so I wasn’t sure if I’d buy anymore. But, when I was buying an Xbox 360, the Final Fantasy XIII edition had such an awesome looking box. Plus, the console came with a way bigger hard drive than I can ever use, an extra controller, and it, of course, came with FFXIII, which I still was considering getting. (Also, on the side of the 360, if it’s horizontal, it says Final Fantasy XIII. Oooooh!) So I went for it, and I’m glad I did. It was awesome! The game is three disks long, and yet the first two go by fairly fast. (By the way, this is my first game that is more than one disk long.)
Anyway, I was proud of myself that I actually understood the plot this time. In FFX and FFXII, I got quite lost. I knew who was good, who was bad, and that was about it. It’s a good plot, and I just feel like I got more attached to the characters in this game than in the others. I don’t know exactly why. I love Vanille the most. She’s a delight! I thought she’d be a little annoying at first, but no. I love her to bits! She’s just adorable! Sazh is my second favorite. I’m not as sure of the exact reason why, but anyway. (And it amuses me to no end how that cactuar in disk 3 bugs him so much. He seems to be the only one just so bothered by that darn cactuar. Calm down, Sazh, it’ just a creepy, walking cactus. That kicks people.) The other characters are good, too, though. (And I really like Lightning’s coat or whatever. I want it.)
Speaking of favorite characters, why don’t I tell you a little bit about favorite enemies. My favorite enemy name…Corrosive Custard. That’s right. Many (if not every) FF game has blobby enemies called flan, and one type in this game is Corrosive Custard. Imagine that as a dessert.
“No, don’t eat that, it’s corrosive!”
“Hey, did you check the date on this, ‘cuz I think this custard’s a bit corrosive.”
“How did he die?”
“Well, I think that custard he ate…was corrosive.”
After that, Rust Pudding. Mmm-mmm. Now that sounds appetizing. Now what, though, is Ferruginous Pudding? My dictionary says it contains or is similar to iron. Another delicious choice. I learned a new word! You see how educational video games are? There’s also Flandragora and Flanitor. Tee hee!
My favorite enemy, though, are those bird monster things that hop around on one leg and dance, mainly Yahsha and Yahshini. I feel bad killing them. Look at them dance! Dance, birdies!
And, there is another thing that is super cute. Like, exceeding Vanille’s cuteness. The tiny sheep. Oh. My. Gosh. How I love them! They’re little, and they baa! All the things I’m looking for in cute mini sheep.
You know, the items you get from enemies are also kind of silly. Oh, lucky me, I got a moist scale. Torn leather, whoopee. A tear of woe? What the crap is that?! Murky ooze? Eww! Oh, look, I have obtained both sturdy and shattered bones.
Anyway, though, it’s a great game. There’s funny stuff, some very sad things. Some awesome places and music and enemies. It’s just plain great. I know this post really gave you guys no information, but I don’t want to spoil anything, so I can’t say much more. All I can tell you is the game was well worth the effort. I remember early on, I had so much trouble beating the second Eidolon. (Eidolon is a real word, by the way. It means phantom. Video games really are educational!) I thought I could progress no further, but I upgraded a bunch, and I won, and I then knew that nothing would stop me. No, not even you, final boss! I tried so many times to win! It was certainly a challenge, but I won! I won! This gamer won’t be taken down so easily!
Duck of Indeed: A Minor Fal’Cie